So yesterday I had a bit of a panic attack. I just felt like things were happening so fast and I have so much to do and not enough time to do it all in. Ever feel like that? Unfortunately, I feel like that all too often. I think mine started yesterday when I was working on my daughter's and nephew's joint birthday party invitations. I had already worked on it for a couple of hours a few weeks ago and then realized yesterday that if I don't get them out into the mail pronto, no one would know about it. So as I printed them out on the new invitation paper I bought, I realized nothing fit and spent another 2 hours tweaking it, printing them out, and eventually mailing them. I'm only sending them to immediate family and a few of Buggy's friends. She's got 3-5 close "girlfriends" if you can call them that at the age of two. So I invited them as well.
But in looking over my to-do list for her party I realized that I don't think my house is going to get neatened enough in the next 3 weeks if we don't find time for Hubby to help. Then I started worrying that things won't get done before the baby is due...like putting the kids together in the same room, painting the kids' room so it reflects their personalities, and just plain being ready. Don't get me wrong, Hubby has been helping, but his priorities are different from my priorities. Right now certain things are bugging me and I want them done and for him, eh, not so much. So I hit panic mode...which is really tough when you realize that you aren't supposed to be doing anything but stay off your feet. Doh!
I definitely didn't feel like the wife/mother described in yesterday's scripture. Not.at.all.
Here's my take on the scripture from yesterday:
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies
---Don't I wish I was! I think after yesterday's meltdown I'm thinkin' Hubby is thinkin' I'm worth far more trouble than I'm worth...not rubies HA! He has been really patient with me and the whole situation. I'm pretty lucky.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
---Hubby does seem to have confidence in me on most days and in most things. Just don't ask me to put anything together. I've put together my fair share of shelves and dresses backwards and upside down. He was a little concerned when I wanted to put the double stroller together by myself. But I did and it's held up this year. So has the back patio set I put together.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
---This is my prayer everyday...that I can be the type of wife God wants me to be. Though yesterday, eh, not so much. My stress was stressing him and the baby. I was having quite a few contractions because of the stress and it was stressing out Hubs even more. I have to work on that whole stress thing.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands
---This I can relate to. I have been making baby blankets for a year now. It's definitely getting easier and I'm much quicker about it. I'm currently making one for Buggy because she's so disappointed that I've been making them for other people. She even selected her own yarn the other day. This is one of the few things that I can sit and relax while doing it. I love making them and I love the finished products. I hope the recipients like them as much as I do.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
---Um, the furthest I go is Costco and I hate going there. It's just too overstimulating for me. I don't like big box stores. Too much going on. Same goes for Ikea. I love their stuff, but it overwhelms me. But I try to make my weekly treks to Giant and my monthly treks to Costco so that I can feed my family. I am learning to be a better cook and that's been satisfying. I think Hubby likes that I'm trying to expand my repertoire.
15 She gets up while it is still dark...
---I've definitely been doing that, but lately it's because of insomnia. But, seriously, I do try to get up before the kids during the week. It's the time I can devote to preparing for the day. It's my time to pray and I find that praying for the day before it's started makes for a better day. I also feel like if I'm up before them, then I'm not behind the 8-ball. I feel like I am "up and at 'em" and that I can handle most things more effectively.
I'll finish my thoughts tomorrow. I wish all of you a peaceful day!