Fifteen days ago I delivered the newest addition to our family. I'm still adjusting to life with three, recovering from delivery, and trying to figure out a new balancing act just when I thought I had it all down before the arrival of our newest one.
From even before Bam Bam was conceived he was very much wanted. I knew after the birth of our second baby that I would want another. That's why it was so hard to find out in early September that it was a possibility that we might lose him. With unexplained cramping and spotting, the doctor on call at Urgent Care on Labor Weekend told me what signs to look for because there was possibility of a miscarriage. At the time Hubby and I were both pretty stunned and then I prayed for grace and allow for God's decision with the life of this little one. I was placed on restricted activity and then on medicine to stop early contractions.
Of course, Bam Bam was born right on his NFP due date at a whopping 9lbs 1oz. But throughout my pregnancy with him and the last 16 days he's been teaching me and family a few things:
- Trust--things will not necessarily go the way that you had hoped. Trust in your faith and trust that someone else is in charge.
- Time--1There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—(New American Version: Ecclesiastes 3:1) I had to trust that Bam Bam would come in his own time. I had to be prepared for an early delivery, just in case, but at the same time, know that he would come when he was ready.
- Grace--To accept help from family and friends and to take a seat back.
- Selflessness--My kids are phenomenal with Bam Bam. Boogie is so helpful getting things for me that I need. He's also so understanding. One night I was helping Buggy so that she would stay in her bed (lots of nighttime wanderings from our little girl). I was in the big kids' room trying to comfort her and Boogie said, "Mommy, it's okay. You should go to Bam Bam. He needs you to take care of him." I asked Buggy if she was okay with that and she said, "yes." She was willing to give up her own comfort for her little brother. As a parent you learn selflessness as you think of your kids more than yourself. I think adding a 3rd child to our family is teaching my big kids the same thing. They are willing to set aside some of their differences with one another to help their new baby brother.
- Flexibility--We are just learning to go with the flow. I'm also learning that having a "B" game or even a "C" game is okay at this stage. Maybe later I'll have my "A" game again ;) Or maybe not.
- Balance--All I seem to do is nurse, eat, and sleep. But as Hubby goes back to work next week I will learn how to balance and juggle our new family schedule. I'll let you know how this one goes.
There are so many more lessons, but this is a good list for now. Right now I'm learning to let go. Let go of the house. It's not the way I want it to look, but it will suffice for now. Let go of the tasks that I want to get done...it's just not going to happen (unless we're all naked and then I'll have to do laundry). Let go of all the things that I think should be done in lieu of things that have to be done (nursing, childcare, eating...you know the essentials). But right now, life is good and I'm content. I love how much my big kids are showering Bam Bam with love. I love how much leeway they're giving me since I haven't been able to do as much with them. I love how much support my husband has given me. I love my new life with my newer, bigger family :)