I'm still here. I'm still running. I'm still being a mommy with a lot on my to-do list. Lately, I have felt that I haven't been a good friend to any of my friends. I have so much I do with and for the kids that I haven't made the time to get together with anyone else. I'm sorry. Really I am. It's not you, it's me.
I've been working on my own time line and if you've asked me for a date and I haven't gotten back to you, it's that I am working on one thing at a time and that thing you asked me for...well it's behind several other things.
I know. It's awful. I should make time for my friends. All the magazine articles, MOPS meetings, tv commercials tell me I'm missing out if I don't make time to get together with my friends.. But can I be honest? I.am.tired. That's it. I'm just tired and crazy busy. Not really discombobulated or overwhelmed, just busy. I'm not doing anything super exciting or crafty. I'm just being mom and every hour/day is filled with one thing or another. There are times that I have scheduled a get together months in advance. No lie. Months. Just last week I went to a Another Mother Runner event with another running friend. I think we had this on our calendar for months. I was really looking forward to it and last week between the PTA Book Fair, potty training the 2 year old, figuring out whether or not I'll run in a half marathon next week (I'm not), and trying to plan a family party for my middle child's upcoming 5th birthday, I completely forgot. If my friend hadn't messaged me and told me she was excited about getting together and going I might have missed it altogether. As it stood I was lucky to get a last minute babysitter!
I feel bad. It's not that I need help with this or that. It's just I'm always in the midst of doing one thing or another. And Hubby's new schedule has just thrown me off. I should be used to it by now, I mean it's been 3 months now, but we're still flitting by on the seat of our pants. Things get done. But if I have any extra free time, I'm spending it with my Hubby, whether it's date night on the sofa eating Thai food and watching Netflix, or I'm in the middle of folding laundry while he's doing his back exercises.
I know this whole not able to make time for my friends is going to bite me in the butt sooner or later. It's ironic really. The first few years of staying home with my kids I was desperate to find friends. Somebody to hang out with to help me fill those oh, so lonely days where I didn't have any adult interaction or conversation until Hubby walked in the door after a long day at work. Now, I crave the solitude. And yes, most of the time I run solo so that I can just be alone and not have to answer to anyone for at least a half hour or so. I also get to squeeze in a good book by listening to it. It's all about the multitasking, Baby.
I miss my friends. I miss seeing them. The thing is I know we are all busy, so I don't ever try to schedule anything. I'd much rather someone call me and throw out some dates and I do mean dates as in the plural so that I have a better chance of having at least one of those days free-ish. It's trying to find time between the soccer games and practices, potty training, being the room parent, or helping out at the book fair. I promise I'll do better. Really I will. Just after we finish with the book fair, plan the middle child's birthday, and the Halloween/harvest festivals at the kids' schools, finding costumes for the children, oh, and my sister-in-law's baby shower, and hosting Thanksgiving for the extended family, and preparing for advent and Christmas, oh, and while your at it, throw in a 5K or two. So like in January? Call me? Maybe?