Today is a day of fasting, prayer, and penance. I sit here early in the morning with my head racing in 15 different directions...so fast that I can barely keep from jumping from one thought to the next...hence the "discombobulated" part of Mommy.
The more that I think that I need to take a deep breath and just breathe...my thoughts are going wildly from one thing to the next. You would think that I am anxious or worried, really I'm just trying to plan my day. What I need to do is: stop...breathe...think...breathe...reflect...breathe.... It's hard isn't it, when you are a mommy? Do you ever feel that not only are you the caretaker for your little ones, but of also your spouse? the house? the cruise director for the family? the detail person? I love my role, but it is also very overwhelming.
Today as we begin Lent it gives me time to reflect. I find that I spend a lot of time running around in circles and spending way too much time on the internet, particularly Facebook. Why am I so interested in the lives of those around me when I should be more focused on the lives that are under my roof? I am in desperate need to take some time to spend with me, just me, before the kids wake up and begin our day, and before the hubby comes home from work. I rarely get to reflect where I am in life and who I want to be. I feel like I'm always focused on something else. This Lent I am going to take the time that I usually use on Facebook and spend it in prayer and quiet reflection. I think that in order to be a better Mommy to my two beautiful kids and wonderful husband, I need to spend some time working on myself. Be the kind of person I want to be. If I can take some quiet time before the house wakes up and hustle and bustle begins, I might find that I will have more patience throughout the day. I might stop looking at other people's statuses and comparing myself to my friends.
Some things that I want to work on during Lent (this is not a "hey, look at me") but more of, this is my reflective blog as a mommy and getting my thoughts on virtual paper, written for me so that I can go back and reflect in 40 days.
--Spend time with The Little Black Book: Six-minute meditations on the Passion of Mark
--Spending time with a devotional for moms
--Fasting (one day a week) and spend more time in prayer
--making a blanket for a pregnancy center (the current one has taken me 4 months and I'm still just finishing it up...I'll give my self a break and work on the new one, knowing this will be a belated gift.)
--blog (this is so cathartic for me and helps to get my thoughts in order. It will also help me to be more reflective.)
Lent is a time of Fasting--Praying--Almsgiving. Too often I have heard, "I'm giving up chocolate" or "I'm giving up soda" for Lent. I'll admit that giving up chocolate, in my case, is difficult. It can be a sacrifice. But this year I wanted to look at the three traditional practices of Lent and see what I can do and make true sacrifices, seek true penance, and to do good works without seeking praise. Through this I want to come closer to God, be a better (and more patient!) Mommy and to be a better spouse.